#PLEASE THIS IS JUST SO HEARTBREAKING
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Hahaha what if Jee asks “where is uncle Tommy” and Buck speed runs through every stage of grief known to man.
#i don’t really care if tommy comes back or not just give me some delicious heartbreaking angst man please#we’ve never really seen buck process a break up except with abby so this would be delicious#911 spoilers#911 abc#bucktommy
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Gay people are so dramatic. Like, couldn’t you just express your feelings instead of dying or something? Ugh so dramatic!
#I actually hate them#so much#why do they always die or like have the most heartbreaking moment in history#can’t they just be happy for once#please#tmr#the maze runner#maze runner fandom#maze runner#the maze runner fandom#newtmas#cherik#x men#x men movies#aonunete#avatar the way of water#jjpope#outer banks#btw schools is killing me I wish I could post everyday#I have some posts in mind that I’m excited to do guys!!
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MILLER'S GIRL | Martin Freeman as Jonathan Miller
#inspiration for creating gifs was the wonderful @meandhisjohn#looking respectfully#my eyes keep getting stuck on that white t-shirt clinging to every curve clinging to every curve#oh silver fox you’re a total heartbreaker#once a saw a man so beautiful i started crying#someone please throw me a life preserver because this level of gorgeousness is throwing me completely off balance#how dare you be so captivating#It’s just not fair#martin freeman#jonathan miller#mf/movies#miller's girl#millers girl
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Valentino Rossi & Marc Márquez
[ happy (belated) 9 year anniversary to sepang 2015 aka the one weekend everything went wrong, everything changed and that still haunts motogp to this day <3 ]
history of man by maisie peters
#soo we were talkinh about possible rosquez narratives in sepang i heard?? *insert that bear picture* bonjour 😏#*technically* the anniversary was last weekend already on oct 25th…but the sepang weekend is now and the edit wasn‘t resdy sooo#:)))#‚i‘m sure there was heartbreak in the world of motogp‘…‘so valentino blamed marc‘….‘valentino started the war yet valentino hates marc‘….#yeah….yeahh#also vale‘s evil spirit entered ae and fucked with the audio and now the one part sounds like ‚his program is to make me lose..‘#which is basically what he said anyway but now the text is all fucked up!!!#get out of my computer evil vale spirit!!!!#also. if the texts don‘t exactly line up and you see any glitches. look past it bestie. please. i went through PAIN to render this#and tumblr fucked the quality left and right and center…why. why. 🤠#what if i just—☠️#anywhoooooo#btw. is is. is it normal to still get brainworms about them. just. asking for a friend. because. maybe that friend hears a song sooometimes#and is thinking is like ohmygod that‘s rosquez#and then she has the urge to make an edit on her fuckass old laptop with a crackef after effects that doesn‘t play audios n lags like crazy#and she will HATE the edit but then think fuck it we ball and hits post with zero regards for the people who will have to the see it#no yeah i should talk to her yeah i agree mhm#motogp#marc marquez#valentino rossi#rosquez#rosquez edit#s.edits
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the Sully kids' reaction to Jake saying Spider "knew everything" breaks my heart.
they knew him better than anyone else, better than their parents. they knew his love for Eywa, for Pandora, for The People, for the clan, for their family. they knew he would never tell the RDA anything... not willingly at least.
they knew they were leaving because Spider would be tortured for information, he'd be forced to reveal their home, their plans, their numbers, their weaknesses. their brother would be tortured and they were being forced to leave him behind.
they knew they were being forced to find a new home, without their brother, because their dad knew he would be tortured.
#I like to think. for the sake of my sanity. Jake knew Spider would be loyal to them. that he would only blab once broken by torture.#anything else would kill me. the level of anger would be lethal.#but regardless. I think the kids would also need to believe the same thing. they *need* to think their dad has faith in their brother.#but back to the reactions themselves. the heartbreak and confusion on Kiri and Tuk's face. the way Lo'ak looks dissociated.#we can barely even see his face. but even Neteyam looks surprised and painted. even if its kept under a calm guise#(I will never let anyone convince me 'tey didn't love Spi. James. give us more about them please. more than these little crumbs)#they were just little kids and he was their big brother#he was Lo'ak and Kiri's best friend#Tuk was his baby#I feel it in my bones that Spi and 'tey were brothers with a complicated history. I know 'tey was scared to lose him.#I don't have proof but I know James is cooking up something with them#they would never believe Spider would just give them up. but that opens up their minds to so many things to think about#they had to be so scared for him and angry he was being left behind#(especially since in the comics Kiri. Lo'ak. and Tuk risk their lives to save him when he was kidnapped by Nash)#avatar 2#avatar the way of water#spider socorro#miles spider socorro#miles socorro#kiri sully#lo'ak sully#tuk sully#tuktirey sully#neteyam sully#lo'ak#kiri#tuk#tuk tuk#tuktirey#neteyam
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Please don’t ever become a stranger who’s laugh I could recognize anywhere
Please don’t ever become a stranger who’s laugh I could recognize anywhere
Please don’t ever become a stranger who’s laugh I could recognize anywhere
Please don’t ever become a stranger who’s laugh I could recognize anywhere
Please don’t ever become a stranger who’s laugh I could recognize anywhere
Please don’t ever become a stranger who’s laugh I could recognize anywhere
Please don’t ever become a stranger who’s laugh I could recognize anywhere
…
Why did you ..
#sadnees#can you hear me#you broke my heart#this is a cry for help#heart been broke so many times#i still love you#the day i loved you#i loved you#i am in pain#heart break#you broke my fucking heart#heartbreak#heartbroken#please#please please please#please help#denial#hopelessly devoted to you#greif#you’re losing me#losing myself#did you miss me?#i miss him#did you go and make promises you can't keep?#how could i do this to myself#don’t let me down#just why#whyyyy#emotional wounds#spilled emotions
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What is your favourite Doctor Who story?
TOURNAMENT MASTERPOST
synopses and propaganda under the cut
World Enough and Time/The Doctor Falls
Synopsis
The Doctor decides to test how good Missy has become by sending her on a trial run with Bill and Nardole. However, when things go wrong, the Doctor takes over. With Bill trapped in a different time zone, can the Doctor make it to her before it is too late, and who are all those people getting cured?
Propaganda no propaganda submitted
Heaven Sent
Synopsis
As if the death of his best friend wasn't enough, the Doctor's situation has only gotten worse. What initially started as an attempt to help clear someone of a false murder charge has evolved into to something much worse.
Now trapped in an old rusty castle in the middle of an ocean, the Time Lord is being stalked by a mysterious creature that only pauses when he gives up his deepest secrets. What does this thing want? And can the Doctor escape and find his way back home?
Propaganda no propaganda submitted
#quarters#time for me to go to bat for my favourite nuwho#(i haven't so far becuase it would have been tantamount to bullying)#first of all weat#we all know weat is incredible and heartbreaking and incredible and amazing and horrifying and incredible#just#ahhhhhhhh#now people say tdf isn't as good#but seeing as thats functionally impossible its hardly a fair criticism#and anyway it is still amazing and great and i love it#firstly more multimaster stories please#secondly 12 regenerates not even to truly save anyone#all he can do is give them more time#but not a lot of it#but that still matters#its still important#point is tdf is still great#weat/tdf for the win
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something real quick
#heartbreak high#rowan callaghan#jett callaghan#i felt bad. ok#i hate rowans hair so bad i have no clue how to draw it ever#please. just spare me#anyway who here love siblinghood#meeeeee
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rip pstump 1984-2023. he forgor
#shut up kell#art#fob#fall out boy#heartbreak feels so good#i think i am: hilarious#btw i know i covered what patrick is saying. it reads:#GUYS PLEASE I'M SORRY I LITERALLY HAVE ADHD I AM GOING TO FORGET DATES AND SHIT#CMON GUYS PLEASE I'M JUST A LITTLE GUYYYYYY AND I HAVE GLASSES YOU WOULDNT HIT A GUY WITH GLASSES#IM SORRY ANDY PETE PLEASEEEEEEE#hall of shame
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My thoughts on how the Milgram mv machine works based on the evidence we have:
(I know there’s been discussion about where exactly the interrogations take place, but wherever they are,) the prisoners are made to sit in a specific chair near the wall that houses the machine.
It’s ordinarily hidden, but the wall panels shift aside to reveal it when the mechanical sounds play in the dramas. As well as the walls moving, the chair transforms to restrain the prisoner and attach whatever it takes to access their brain. The fact that none of the more frightened prisoners try to run or break it makes it seem like they physically cannot. This is why Fuuta sounds so panicked, and why Amane is suddenly helpless in front of Es in their T1 vds.
(My mind conjures very classic sci-fi mad scientist machines with wires, pipes, lights, nodes, needles, etc, but I’d love to hear how other people visualize it.)
In some vds (maybe all? I’d need to check,) you can hear Es take some steps right before their iconic line -- it would make sense that for safety reasons, the power mechanism is placed across the room. Once again it could be anything, but the sound effect makes me think of one of those giant wall-mounted levers you have to pull down.
The voice dramas don’t really provide the type of crime details that an actual interrogation would reveal, and it’s odd that they’re placed before the extraction rather than after Es gets to see the new details. This leads me to believe the machine functions with priming. All Es needs to do is get them talking about their murder, so it’s on their mind.
The video produced is much like a (non-lucid) dream. Even if the prisoners figure out that this is how it works, they can’t control it just by thinking really hard about something else. The murders produce the strongest emotional affect, and that’s what it picks up on. If someone else used the machine, it would default to whatever gave them the strongest emotional reaction in the ~15 minutes beforehand, hence why Es’ video focuses on their daunting task ahead. (The Undercover theory is still a bit loose, though, given the private shots that Es wouldn't have known about). It’s why the videos are usually closely linked to the vd topics/beats. I also like to think that the reason their prisoner colors appear so much is because they’re looking at those colors on their uniform 24/7.
The bell rings to inform Es that it’s the optimal time to use the machine -- the prisoner has been thinking about things for long enough that the video will be about their crime, and if the conversation lasts much longer they’ll start thinking of other things. It’s at a different time for each prisoner because it’s based on the specific conversation. I guess Jackalope is listening in to the interrogation, timing it perfectly. (The only one that kind of messes with this theory is Yonah, because they just keep talking afterwards lol, but it could just show that the interrogation is still in Es’ control.)
Their “Sing your sins” is the final priming nudge to get them to think of their actions as a sin, revealing their guilt.
Once activated, the prisoner enters a sort of trance/sleeping state. It’s very much like REM sleep, with the machine forcibly activating neurons and recording the output. The prisoners have asked Es what they saw, meaning they don’t remember the mvs. I like to think the prisoners do experience the mv in real time, acting as the major version of themself that appears, but can’t remember it afterwards. It’s when you experience a dream, but as soon as you wake up you’re just left with fleeting emotions and memories right on the tip of your tongue.
The video plays immediately upon extraction -- whether on a huge projection or little screen depends on which room it’s in. It simultaneously saves the memory so that Es can rewatch it later (on those old TVs in the jailbreak mix). The machine downloads the song and video together, but requires special parts to retrieve them. The technology is pretty new and fragile, so if one is broken, there might be a delay between when Es can hear the extracted song and see it with the video. (That’s my justification for Kotoko’s delays -- after 9 prisoners the parts wear out, or maybe Mikoto himself overheats it with his complex situation.)
Based on the lack of conversation we get afterwards, I picture Es leaving before the prisoner wakes from the trance. The machine adjusts their brain back to normal before they awaken, restraints freed and able to return to the rest of the prison.
It’s very much like a dream, so it’s not harmful despite the amnesia/head injuries the prisoners have. It does, however, exhaust them. Brain activity alone takes a lot of energy, so forced brain activity with added emotional strain would cause them to feel pretty drained the rest of the day.
#milgram#👍👍#if theres anything contradictory please lmk -- this is how ive been taking the evidence we have so i definitely want to rethink things if#theres a mistake#but also i just wanna hear what people have been picturing 🤔#i mentioned it before but the jailbreak tvs really did shift my brain from sleek tech to clunky old scifi vibes#im also still partial to an idea mentioned a long time ago about the prisoners waking up to catch the last few moments of their mv#and how heartbreaking that can be for some#but i feel like it would make more sense if there was no direct interaction after the extraction since es is overwhelmed with different#reactions (from us) and the prisoners themselves are raw with emotion and fatigue#i like the thought of interrogations occuring in that big courtroom (seen in undercover and now deep cover)#but that room seems way too echo-y for the vds to take place in#and it seems overkill to build every cell with moving panel walls and access to the machine#so the jurys still out on that one#(also hehe im still so excited that my oc fits very nicely into all of this but i kept this post 100% canon compliant)#analysis/thoughts
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Read the novelization of Rogue.
Just do it trust me.
#random dribble#dw rogue#doctor who rogue#rogue doctor who#timerogue#dndoctor#it’s 12:30am and I just binged it#the book is even gayer than the episode#and also even more heartbreaking#and we find out so much about Rogue#it’s so good please read it
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ALIEN SCARAMOUCHE WITH OVIPOSITION MERA ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL ME 😭 I need more, what would he look like, what are his motivations... Omg... Maybe some kidnapping going on...some experiments on humans...him studying how humans reproduce and if his race can use them... Aaaa my mind is going crazy with ideas, please do share yours too! <3
What if he doesn’t have a form of his own (something that sort of ties into canon Scaramouche’s obsession with wanting a heart and a purpose)? And maybe he’s more like a shadowy mass that can take the form of anything so long as he’s encountered said thing (i.e. made contact with it? Or maybe he has to kill the original in order to take its form? Or it’s something like a reflection where if you happen to look at him long enough he’ll have a good enough idea of how to replicate your form from staring and analyzing it.) and since he’s so dedicated to having a form that really fits, that truly feels like him, he’s continued to adapt and evolve as the years pass throughout every planet in the solar system.
Perhaps he does have a few features of his own, but maybe they’re sort of scattered?? Or they aren’t really features his species is known to have? He’s like a mixture of various things he’s observed over the time he’s spent on your planet in an effort to shape himself into something beyond the formless shadow he’s lived as for so long. Like a patchwork copycat composed of so many different parts because he’s desperately trying to understand all of these things. It’s like his version of trying on clothes and new fashion styles. So maybe he has horns or maybe cat ears because he’s seen so many stray cats and they’ve always fascinated him for some unexplainable reason (maybe in order to have these features he’s had to ingest part of the living thing he wants to replicate??? Just something a little extra horrifying for our beloved alien mouchey. <3) And maybe the only thing he has from the one who created him (Ei) is the same piercing stare in a pair of brilliantly colored eyes she graciously bestowed upon him.
Maybe Scaramouche can’t understand human emotion in the usual sense that other humans might, so he assigns flavors to these unusual feelings. When he hurts the things he likes or is interested in (cats, the human he stole his current appearance from (i.e. Kabukimono; let’s pretend they’re two separate individuals hehe), and even other gentle things or creatures who are completely innocent), the taste in his mouth is sour or bitter or so very intolerable. I think over time he hardens himself and learns to live with the foul flavors he often encounters when he attempts to blend in with humans and utterly fails because he can never replicate their emotions as well as he can copy behaviors or appearances. He starts his journey so curious and sweetly innocent, albeit murderous and eerie, and he tries so hard to learn and be good and explore the world with the eyes his mother gifted him and yet he always finds himself hurting. He hates it. It tastes terrible. It feels terrible, and he has never truly felt before. This is new.
When Scaramouche is captured by Dottore, a human scientist who is a little too dedicated to the pursuit of forbidden knowledge, he finally tastes the cruelty of humankind—learns of the lengths they’ll go to in the name of scientific breakthroughs. The researchers run dozens of tests on him. He can’t feel external or internal pain from wounds or injuries; he’s sturdy, birthed from a substance foreign to humans, intended to survive the harshest conditions. But Scaramouche feels pain—the emotional kind. He’s never felt fear; he’s what humans would call an apex predator. He’s strong. He’s never needed to feel fear, and so he doesn’t fear the unknown. He isn’t scared of the sharp tools, of the peculiar creatures he’s shown in hopes that he might replicate them and their features, nor does he fear the trajectory of this new life. The concept of ethical practices means nothing to him even though he’s aware he’s a lab rat, a grotesque curiosity that doctors poke and prod at. He reacts to everything in unique, defensive ways. He impaled a doctor through the throat with a strange shadowy spike. It moved as though it were liquid, yet it struck very solidly, sharply, deadly efficient. Dottore likens its movements and behaviors to that of an octopus’s tentacle; Scaramouche is unsure of this comparison. This is merely a shadow of something he has observed—a reflection. A cheap copy. He has never been original.
You’re the first human he meets who isn’t adorned in sterile white. No lab coat, no gloves, no goggles, no protective gear. Just clothes. Normal clothes. The both of you are separated by indestructible glass, placed in two very white rooms, and you can see one another so clearly. Scaramouche hates the purity of white because he knows that when he’s forced into a white backdrop he’s meant to stain it red. And lately he doesn’t want to break things that are undeserving of it. Perhaps he’s feeling too much. Perhaps he ought to tear these human feelings out and go back to the blank, shadowy slate he once was. How he intends to accomplish that, he has no idea.
He’s uninterested in you at first. You’re a human. He’s seen humans. He interacts with them daily. He’s killed plenty. But you spend nights in that white room and he watches you sleep. He tries to sleep in the same way you do; he has no need for sleep. He regulates his energy differently. He tries to breathe like you. He blinks at the same times you blink—or he comes awfully close. He tries to copy your movements and mannerisms. One night he presses himself to the glass and takes your form and watches you, counting every rise and fall of your chest as you lie so comfortably on the very uncomfortable cot. With hands that mirror yours, he pokes at these human features. He fits one hand in the other and pretends he’s holding your actual hand. There is no warmth, though. Humans are warm; Scaramouche is not. He’s frigid. His home planet is gloomy and cold and desolate. He thinks humans are lucky for cyclical days—for being in close proximity to the sun. There is no sunshine where he hails from. He likes the way the sun feels on him. It used to burn terribly when he first arrived on this planet. Now it’s like a hug—a hug that still singes, but a hug nonetheless. He’s never known what a hug is, but he thinks this is what it must feel like—like the burning warmth of a sun.
Scaramouche feels true, raw, animalistic, paralyzing fear when you’re taken out of the room after two weeks and replaced with a new human. You’re gone. Replaced. Are you dead? Did he kill you? Did he stare too long? He’s distraught, overcome with a horrifying emotion that has him curled and trembling in the corner of his white room (a cage if he’s ever known one). Why aren’t you here? And why is he so…restless? He can’t call it fear because he doesn’t know that word. But oh he’s scared. He’s so scared. You were the first human to smile at him, to put your hand on the glass where his rested, to sit close to the glass and eat meals alongside him. You were like the stray cats he’s interacted with: kind, soft, gentle, sweet. He’s so scared he loses the ability to remain in his human skin, and he practically melts into a shadow, clinging to the corner like glue or slime. He’s empty and alone. It tastes terrible. It feels terrible.
The humans that follow are terrified of him. Either that or they’re disgusted, baffled, cautious. He hates every one of them, so much so that he’s tried to break through the glass numerous times to dispose of them. Weeks pass; he’s forgetting your features. There are no mirrors here, so he must rely on the reflections shown in the glass. Some days he thinks he looks just like you; other days he’s certain he’s a monstrosity—a sloppily stitched version of you. The you he saw did not have pointed fangs or curling horns. He hates his reflection because it isn’t you. Most importantly, he hates that the humans he’s forced to look at are protected by this thick layer of glass. If it wasn’t so indestructible, he’d tear through every human nuisance until he reaches you.
Scaramouche is not sure how many months pass, but you return. And when you do the fear ebbs away. He feels…happy? Is that the right term? He’s pleased to see you, and for the first time in a while he returns to his human appearance—to the one he took from a young man many centuries ago. You’re back. You’re here. He’s so happy. He detaches himself from his corner and he tries to smile in the way you do. And, though it’s awkward and strange and sharp-toothed, you smile right back.
Dottore decides then that you are to be the next subject in this experiment. He’s observed Scaramouche’s reactions to you and compared them to reactions to the other humans and found that you are the best suited to this role. If anything, the alien couldn’t have picked a better specimen to adore. You’re helpless and so naïve. You need the money; it’s why you allowed yourself to live in that room for a few weeks. You were paid handsomely for it. He’ll pay you beyond handsomely if you agree to what’s next. And, really, when you’re in between a predator’s jaws do you really have much of a choice?
Scaramouche needs a human match, and the scientists need to study more than just the social biology of an alien. They promise you he won’t hurt you, and if he does it’s all right. They’re kind enough to respect the wishes of the dead. You must let Dottore know if you’d prefer a burial or a cremation. There’s nothing special in this distinction; it’s just a precautionary measure. You’ll agree to participate in this experiment whether or not you want to.
Your new home is the white room that faces Scaramouche, and after some more time and observations to ensure you won’t be killed the moment you step foot in his space the glass barrier will be lifted. Dottore wonders how Scaramouche’s kind mates and reproduces.
There’s only one way to find out.
#genshin chit chat#alien scaramouche#yandere scaramouche#scaranya#please forgive me for rambling orz#i just think there’s so much potential for aliens and scara#I PROMISE I HAVE OVIPOSITION THOUGHTS FOR HIM TOO OTL#i just wanted to world-build a little >_<#(adding more tags because i have so many ideas but!!!)#maybe you can’t kill his species in the way you might kill a human#maybe the only thing that kills his species is heartbreak (or extreme emotions)#because his species cannot handle just how overwhelming heartbreak and things like fear are#maybe because his species was never intended to feel to the extent humans feel#because scara has evolved to withstand any and all dangerous threats#he hasn’t evolved enough to defend against emotional threats#so essentially he is physically very strong but mentally/emotionally he’s weaker because he does not know how to feel or comprehend feeling#and too much of a certain emotion if felt in extreme amounts is detrimental and even fatal to him#because he doesn’t know how to protect against that or repair the damage that has been done from strong emotions#he can be beheaded and he’d easily repair the wound#but heartbreak… he can’t repair that (not after he’s formed such a strong bond with his darling)#AAAAA TOO MANY THOUGHTS
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Oh how you must have suffered...
#백설공주에게 죽음을#black out#my poor chi❌ NSC's child✅#my disgust just reached a new peak#this is so heartbreaking I want to go to mucheon and 🔪🔪 some bitches#the fact that he can't even sleep the suffering he must have endured#the emotional healing of this show tho#he really did get his first proper sleep on NSCs 🛋️#Say thank you Sangcheol-ah#he just slept like this through the night 😭#my heart is there somewhere please pick it up for me
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Screaming crying sobbing shrieking punching kicking yelling bawling weeping LOSING MY FUCKING MIND
#The small ‘I’m so scared’ surrounded by darkness- my heart is broken#That sound you can hear is the sound of my heart breaking#DC really thought hmm let’s just put Jason through hell that’ll be fun#I love angst don’t get me wrong#but this oh my god#It’s so heartbreaking but also I want to eat it#The ‘please…’ and ‘I’m so scared’ FUCKING RIPPED OUT MY HEART#I don’t care if this was Bruce or whatever the hell zur is possessed him- this fucking hurt#I want to hug him and tell him everything’s going to be okay 😭#red hood#jason todd#batfamily#batfam#Dc really took the ‘family’ out of batfamily#batman#dc#dc comics#I once again forgot to queue this ahead of time
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hhau rescue rambles - part II
>> part I here // hhau masterpost here <<
The hermits are here to take Scar home but Grian is gone and Scar can’t leave without him, even if the others would promise to look for him. (They won’t find him, they won’t, they won’t. Scar knows how vast these forests are. He knows how many hiding spots there are tucked away if one knows where to look.) (They don’t know where to look.)
They’re not listening to him. He’s half-feral and panicked and desperate, barely making any sense. He keeps saying he needs to find Grian, but he looks half-crazed, clothes stained by a huge amount of blood and—
If it looks, a little bit, like he’s just in frenzied denial of some grief? That maybe something happened and Grian isn’t here anymore? The world is permadeath, after all. The rescue party isn’t sure what to think.
Of course they promise to look for Grian. Of course they’ll try. But first, let’s get you somewhere safe, Scar.
Scar panics and backs away and says he isn’t going anywhere until they find Grian. He’s so so afraid they’ll take him away and he’ll never find him. (He keeps imagining that wretched scream he heard that very first day he found Grian, a year ago. How close of a call that was.) (He thinks of finding him after the mimic incident, barely surviving. Wounded and bloodied and ready to collapse.) (He thinks of Grian sobbing as he begs Scar to never leave him again.)
He can’t leave him behind. He can’t.
He won’t.
He’s done everything he can up to this point and if this is his last fight? Then damn it, he’s going to go out swinging. He is going to find Grian. Even if he has to fight his saviours. (They’re enemies if they’re trying to separate him and Grian—)
He growls and lashes out and his vex magic comes through. The hermits are stunned and a little bit afraid and a whole lot confused. They’ve never seen him like this, hair white and claws ready to tear. (Cub, especially, is terrified of this development. Knowing that if Scar pushes himself too far in his vex form, he could die.)
They try to placate him, calm him down, reassure him. They try to get the damn teleportation bracelet on him. They keep telling him they can take him home, it’s okay, Scar, it’s okay.
It’s not okay.
He isn’t leaving without Grian, and he isn’t trusting anyone else with this.
So he runs.
He runs from his friends—from people he loves with all his heart; people he thought he’ll never see again. Runs from the promise of home and safety and this hell being finally over.
He runs, because he can’t take the salvation if he can’t share it with Grian.
Everything’s a bit of a blur as he rushes through the forest, looking for something to tell him where Grian is. He’s fully in his vex form, senses sharp and heart panicked, calling out, desperate for Grian to reply.
There’s no answer.
Scar sees it, then: a handful of ripped-out feathers and blood.
His heart jumps into his throat, but he laser-focuses and starts following the trail. The world feels askew around him, his steps urgent, his breaths hovering near growls that want to threaten the whole forest if anything dares to hurt Grian more. (He hopes Grian’s still out there.) (He has to be. He has to be—) (Why is he not replying to Scar’s calls, then?)
Scar’s aware that if he can follow the trail of blood, so can others. He needs to be better than them. Faster. (He needs to be a better hunter than them.) He knows that if he’s following the trail now, maybe someone already followed it. (He tries not to let that thought in. That he might be too late.)
He’s trailed by the hermit rescue party. They scramble in his wake, trying not to lose him. They lag behind, losing sight of him, but Cub staggers to follow his vex bond with Scar, like a tether, trying to hold down the swell of warning anxiety at the fact that Scar is in his vex form. Scar looks feral, he lashed out and ran from them, clothes stained by blood and hair white—
Them following just makes Scar feel hunted. His instincts go haywire and put him more on edge.
He keeps going.
He keeps calling out, too. Uncaring that he’s attracting every hunter in the vicinity. He can take them. He will happily attract them to himself if that means they won’t go after Grian instead. (The fact that he’s searching for Grian gets a bit tangled up in him. The fact that if he succeeds, he’ll just be bringing the hunters to Grian fails to quite register. He’s not thinking very straight.)
Hermits hear those wails, echoing through the forest. He sounds like a wandering spirit.
Inhuman.
Lost.
--
Grian is hurt. Hand pressed against the spot on his side that bleeds, he sits curled up, pressing himself into some bushes for a moment of reprieve—just a moment, just a little bit, please, please.
He hears Scar’s calls from far away. He hears them, and his heart tears itself to pieces.
He is terrified and hurting, and it feels dangerously close to a despair-filled memory.
He tries to shield himself from it. There’s a reason he ran. There’s a reason why Scar should stay away from him. He can’t— He shouldn’t— He—
Scar draws closer. Grian can hear his sobbing and heaving. His pleading, so heartrendingly desperate. “Grian please. Grian answer me.”
Grian finds himself cautiously standing up, every muscle taut. His heart is rabbity fast, fear clogging his throat.
He doesn’t mean to answer. He really, really doesn’t mean to. (He needs to keep Scar away.) Yet a distressed chirp slips through anyway, like a terrified call, begging for Scar.
The sound of it pitches something in Scar. His sobbing changes to panic and dwindling hopefulness. “Grian…?”
There’s a tinier chirp then. Scared. Still involuntary.
Grian is so so afraid and he should know better, but a part of him is desperate for Scar.
The moment he sees Scar, though, the futility rips through him. No. He isn’t meant to— Scar shouldn’t be near him. Because Grian’s been gone so shortly and yet the hunters have already found him. He’s already gotten hurt. He is a beacon.
He can’t stay near Scar. It’ll get Scar hurt.
It’ll get Scar killed.
(Everything good that stays near Grian dies—)
He needs to get away from him.
He backs away. Tells Scar, in a wobbly voice, not to approach.
Scar doesn’t care. He needs to get to Grian. He needs to get to him, they can go home, this can all be over.
Running on some faulty reasoning, Grian tries to get away. It’s useless, he is in no state to outrun Scar—he can’t bring himself to fly and he’s bleeding, dizzy on panic—but he feels like he needs to try, anyway.
His feet feel heavy beneath him, the world unsteady. Scar is behind him and Grian’s heart begs him to stop, turn around, and burrow into his arms. (He can’t he can’t he can’t—)
It takes only a couple of steps for Grian to trip over some roots, the world as cruel to him as ever, sending him plummeting harshly down in a rough tumble of leaves and limbs and feathers. A pained, fearful yelp gets punched out of him on impact.
Scar’s next to him in an instant, kneeling down and gathering him in his arms. Crying as he buries Grian in a hug, terrified he might try to run again. Frantically telling him, “Grian, it’s over, it’s over, we can go home— Please—”
Grian’s sobbing against him, held in place, unable to understand what Scar is saying. He just wants Scar to get away from him and stay safe. (Grian can’t be safe. He’s been doomed from the start. He’s been doomed this whole time.) (He’ll end up like that bird. Dead, with wings ripped off—)
The words “it’s over” mean nothing to him. All he manages to choke out is, “There is no— There’s no home anymore.” They’ve had their safety ripped away from them over and over again. They’ve been showed that they can’t have a home anymore; this world will not allow it. Nowhere is safe. Nowhere is safe, as long as Grian’s wings are bright violet and attached to his spine.
Scar insists, a series of reassurances, words tripping over each other as he tries to keep his hold on his voice. He says they’ll be okay. He says they don’t have to run anymore. Please, Grian, we can go home.
But it’s not a concept that exists anymore for Grian; it refuses to register in his mind, words sliding right off him, incoherent.
What he knows is this: he failed to protect Scar, and they don’t have a home to go back to, and Grian is sure the hunters are about to show up, any second. He’s so tired and terrified, and he needs Scar to be shielded from this fate. He needs him to be safe.
Scar isn’t letting go of him. His grip is firm as he continues to plead with Grian. He doesn’t want to be rough, he’s never been forceful with Grian, but he can’t let go now. Even as Grian paws at him and tries to push him away.
Grian’s crying so hard; his efforts to get free are all frantic and urgent, yet half-hearted. (He wants to give in and bury himself in the protectiveness of Scar’s arms.) (He wants all of Scar’s promises to be true.)
And yet something tips askew.
Because Scar’s never been forceful with Grian.
He was always so gentle. He’d never grab him like this, with so much force. So much insistence.
Grian is hit with a dizzying, nauseating thought. Is this a trap? Is this a mimic?
Grian starts chirping. More of those distressed, scared noises as he can't get free of Scar's grip.
It’s the first time ever that Scar won’t heed Grian’s requests to be let go. Not even if Grian says it hurts. He won’t let go he won’t he won’t. He’ll drag him home if he has to.
Grian’s scared and confused, all his thoughts are jumbled, running on rampant trauma responses and unadulterated panic. He can’t deal with any of this. He keeps trying to wrangle free and push Scar away (is it even Scar???), begging him to let go, but it’s so horribly weak. It’s almost nothing. He just chokes on sobs and hyperventilates. (He feels caught.) (He feels like Scar will get killed because of him.) (He doesn’t know what’s happening.)
It’s awful. It’s wrong. It’s— It’s not what it’s meant to be.
This should be easy. This should be the best day ever! They can go home!
Instead, it’s like a panicked final showdown and Scar feels like it’s him against everyone. The hermits weren’t listening to him (Grian needs him, he needs him, he needs him), and now Grian isn’t listening to him either. (He can’t comprehend what Scar’s saying at all, and isn’t that so heartbreaking?) (Scar is desperate to get through to him. To calm him down enough so that this could be anything more than Scar forcefully holding him as Grian chokes on panic.) (The kind of panic he should never feel in Scar’s arms—)
Voice breaking, Scar pleads, over and over again. Please, Grian. Please. It’s okay. It’s okay, we can go home, we’ll be alright. It’s me. It’s me, I got you, we’re gonna be safe.
It’s the kiss he presses to Grian’s hair that tips the scales a little, just enough for Grian’s chirps to mute, his sobbing drifting off into softer cries. He goes limp under the affection, still terrified, still trembling and choking on air, but now he’s pressing himself against Scar instead of trying to get free.
“G, do you understand what I’m saying?” Scar begs in a wavering voice, unbecoming of his feral appearance. He holds onto the magic prickling along his skin, alert for any sort of danger, anything that so much as tries to approach and hurt Grian. His hands are still clawed. His hair is still white. His veins are still stuffed with unending desperation.
Nothing is over yet.
It should be. It should be, but it isn’t.
Not yet, not yet.
The hunters find them before the hermits do.
-- part III here
#ange rambles#ange writes#hhau#yes this was just an emotional mess wasn't it#grian is so lost amidst all the trauma rn#he's not processing anything right#had really fun with throwing in the “what if mimic” panic bit#they deserve that after their experiences#also. just something about cub seeing scar go vex mode#scar's never done that on hc#it's incredibly dangerous#they think he lost it#they think maybe grian's already dead#how heartbreaking is it that the rescue should be a Good thing?#that it should feel like relief#and yet it's just this panic-stricken mess?#anyway yeah please stay worried folks#more messy things incoming#<3#also no#grian did not expect to survive on his own#one way or another#it was going to end today
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i’m gonna take my nap and then just not wake up
#— yap central#This just feels like they’re shitting on his entire character#im not saying the ending to a story HAS to be happy or satisfying#but Gojo deserved so much better let’s bffr#so much symbolism and teasing and edging#all for us to get a heartbreaking flashback where he’s like ‘yeeeh people are gonna forget me’#no one has mentioned him#no one has mourned him#no one has cried over him#like wth kind of ending is that for a character regardless?#we get it Gege you hate Gojo#lowkey feels like it is done out of spite…#I do not see the reasoning behind it#like it could have been executed so much better but this just seems to be purely to take a piss?#am I being too harsh or unreasonable here? please tell me if I am the crazy one here#jjk leaks#jjk spoilers#jjk 271
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